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sur·vi·vor noun 1. a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
2. a person who copes well with difficulties in their life. "she is a born survivor"
3. a person who has experienced abuse or cruel treatment, especially of a sexual or psychological nature.
I recently posted on my Facebook page referencing various attributes that I appreciate about myself. The ones that have seen me through peaks and valleys; a few valleys were deep. The post gave extra appreciation for the survivor in me. It prompted some comments about thriving instead and one commenter said survivor is a victim mindset. I disagree.
My mother was diagnosed with very aggressive breast cancer a few years ago. She had high doses of chemotherapy dubbed "the red devil" for weeks before beginning a more standard formula. She had radiation. She had a mastectomy. She survived.
I've known too many women who had abusive husbands and boyfriends. About 4,000 women die each year due to domestic violence. Of the total domestic violence homicides, about 75% of the victims were killed as they attempted to leave the relationship or after the relationship had ended. Women who, despite the fear and uncertainty, found the strength to leave. Women who escaped a situation that many have not. They survived.
Another event too many women don't survive is childbirth. Data published by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention based on detailed assessments of more than 1,000 pregnancy-related deaths shows that more than half of pregnancy-related deaths (53%) happened more than a week after birth. About 1 in 5 (22%) women died during pregnancy, and about 1 in 8 (13%) died on the day of delivery. Yet, I know many women who have children. They survived.
I've witnessed innumerable women coping well with difficulties in life and that isn't hyperbole. Divorce, unexpected career changes, loss, grief, addiction, infidelity, parenting challenges, and more have impacted them and they keep it together. They survive.
I cannot think of any one of these incredible women and accuse them of a victim mindset.
thrive verb
1. (of a child, animal, or plant) grow or develop well or vigorously. 2. prosper; flourish.
Though I am happy to say that most of them are thriving in the midst of surviving.
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