Cultivating Connection

A couple of my recent posts on Facebook have resulted in comments about finding connection with others. Whether you're an introverted human or a social butterfly, there are lots of ways to combat loneliness and meet new people. Here are some of my best suggestions.

The last few years have spawned many ways to stay connected virtually when it was impossible to socialize as usual. The great news is that these methods have grown and are thriving today. Virtual options are ideal for anyone who prefers to stay at home or has social anxiety.

1. Book Clubs - there are so many book clubs available and you can choose based on the type of books they focus on, size, available resources, level of involvement, and more. One of the largest and most popular is Reese's Book Club. Founded by Reese Witherspoon, this is the Mac Daddy of book clubs, including an available box subscription, discussion groups on social media, merch, and a mobile app to name a few of the bells & whistles. Another one, Belletrist, has an adorable origin story and is run by Emma Roberts and Karah Preiss. You can view live author interviews, watch a weekly installment, enjoy a newsletter, and get inspired by the recipes they share from the cookbook category, all on Instagram. Between Two Books is another large online book club community. A quick search online will produce additional options.

2. Local Group Events - I don't live in a metro area and there are still several places to find group activities to join. Dance, fitness, yoga, or any body movement classes are always good options for staying healthy while meeting new people. Beyond that, some of the popular offerings I've seen from local businesses are painting, pottery, cooking, and other crafts. Your local CEC or community college may offer single or short-series classes for a small fee. Learning a new skill has a multitude of benefits for the brain and body in addition to the possibility of making new friends. Meetup is an online resource for finding local groups and activities. For 20 years, people have turned to Meetup to meet people, make friends, find support, grow a business, and explore their interests. Thousands of events are happening every day—join the fun.

3. Volunteer - I've enjoyed volunteering in recent years and I've found that it is one of the easiest ways to meet like-minded people. Naturally, you aren't going to spend your valuable time supporting something you aren't passionate about and those there with you feel the same way. Check with your local food pantry, thrift store, humane society, and social service organizations. They usually need help taking in donations, sorting goods, answering phones, and distributing items to those in need. If you have any specialized or unique skills, search for a local establishment that could use your expertise.

4. Put on Your Hostess Hat - Of course, there are always the popular standbys when it comes to hanging with friends: lunch, brunch, a movie, and shopping. More recently, I've become a fan of small get-togethers at home with a few friends. DIY nights with light refreshments send everyone home with a satisfied appetite, fun memories, and a cute craft to display at home. Themed movie nights are another favorite. Have each person bring a snack that relates to the movie, dress up a little or a lot, and watch a classic film or a new flick together. I haven't done one, yet, but the parties where each person is assigned a color and brings snacks, drinks, and candy in only that hue look like a lot of fun. I think some people call them rainbow parties but that means something else I would never want to advertise so I'll have to come up with an alternative title. Lastly, you could have a My Favorite Things party. Everyone brings 3 of the SAME gift. It’s helpful to have a price limit on the gifts–under $25 is pretty common. You can wrap 2 of the gifts, but leave at least one in a gift bag because you’re going

to do a little show and tell with the group. Before that though, everyone puts their name on a piece of paper in a bowl, 3 times (for the 3 gifts you’re giving). You serve a little food, put on some background music, and take turns introducing your item and sharing why you like it so much. Then, you draw three names to gift your favorite things to. It's easy and everyone goes home with three new fun items! I've seen everything from adorable cosmetic bags to cute bracelets, a favorite wine, and cozy socks. I have endless suggestions for gift ideas and limited space here. Feel free to reach out and ask for more. The great thing about this party is you could scale it down to only a few close friends if you want and everyone gets the same things.

I've been divorced for almost twenty years. I don't mind time to myself. That may be partly because I raised three daughters all this time and so I was rarely alone, but my nest has been emptying over the last few years, and discovering ways to connect with others during this season of life is more important than ever.

I hope this inspires you to look for new ways to engage with your community, meet new people, and learn new things!