Midlife: Crisis or Coming of Age?

Coming of age is a phrase commonly used to define reaching adulthood. However, the lesser-used definition is to become fully established. The latter makes more sense as we go through many chapters during our lifetime. I hit the milestone of turning eighteen, but my twenties were filled with many more lessons and experiences, as were my thirties. My early forties have proven to be an entirely new era of unlearning and learning.

For men, a midlife crisis is stereotypically defined as a time when he changes his appearance to look younger, buys a big-ticket item such as a sports car or motorcycle, and may even take a younger woman as a lover. As with most things, it is not the same for women.

Women tend to enter a time of hormonal changes due to perimenopause or menopause, crossover stressors because of multiple life roles, loneliness in their marriage or relationship, or identity changes. It can happen anywhere from age forty to sixty.

I am acutely aware that I am not the person I was five years ago. What I once thought I believed about life, religion, and humanity has been replaced. The things that are meaningful to me now and the life I desire look different than they once did. While there were times it would have been easy to label what I was experiencing as a crisis, once I leaned into it and discovered its beauty, I realized it is much more a lovely coming of age.

It's important to recognize this time and love yourself through it. However, if you find that you are suffering beyond what seems reasonable, you should seek medical advice. There are universal signs to let you know if you may be experiencing this.

Some of those signs are:

Dramatic changes in sleep habits

Weight loss or gain ( Remember to love your body at all stages)

Neglect of personal hygiene

Pronounced changes in mood, such as anxiety, sadness, irritability, or increased anger

Withdrawal from your usual routine or relationships

As women, this is a period of life when we may experience the loss of loved ones, divorce or separation, loss of fertility, or an empty nest when our kids are leaving home. Suddenly, you're questioning everything you've dedicated the last couple of decades to. Your best-laid plans don't make sense anymore, and you wonder if you will ever feel like your true self again. The good news is that this is temporary. For women, it usually lasts two to five years.

Based on when I began to feel shifts in identity and purpose, this seems accurate.

There are some tried and true ways to navigate this period and ease the effects.

Focus on yourself. It is a time to be selfish without shame or guilt.

Keep track of any changes. Journaling helps with this. If you need affordable journals, click here. Keeping track of changes helps if you need to communicate with your doctor.

Stay active in whatever ways feel comfortable to you. Any form of body movement will help you feel better.

Add healthy habits

Spend time outdoors

Nurture your love life if you have one. If not, then indulge in a healthy solo pleasure practice.

Spend time with like-minded friends who understand you

Not everyone experiences this, but if you do, I hope these tips help you navigate this tricky but temporary time in life.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest. I am here to answer any questions you may have.